Month: April 2014

After the last session, I knew that I had a fair few things that I needed to explore. When I arrived in Studio 2, which was to become my performance space, I picked out a frame that was to be hung from the ceiling in front of me, symbolising me as a picture in a gallery. The frame was only temporarily set up to test out whether the vision I had would work. It was apparent that the gap between the top of my head to the top of the frame was unnecessarily too big. I needed to raise myself higher so that it wouldn’t look odd and what was being recommended for me was a chair or a wooden block to sit upon. However, I didn’t want it to spoil the aesthetics so I suggested sitting on a roisterer and the frame being hung at a desirable height.

The technicians that I were working with were able to set up the projection onto the tape that I had also obtained to strap across my mouth. When my head made the slightest movement, the projection moved slightly on my face and there was never going to be a way to keep the projection fixed. I had realised that the alignment of the projection that I had wanted to be perfect, actually looked more authentic when it wasn’t. I wanted to use the tape from my mouth to piece together the flower that I would dismantle throughout the piece. I also figured that it was hard to rip the tape from my mouth in strips, thin enough to tape the flower back together. Therefore, I cut up the tape into small strips half way down, so there was just enough left to rip off, which also made it look like my mouth was stitched, adding to the meaning of the piece. The  video projected well onto the white tape and although the photo doesn’t do it enough justice, the focus and quality of the video worked well.

I intend to dismantle the appearance of a flower by ripping off the petals and breaking the stem, symbolising the breakdown of a person. The flower links to the person in a self explanatory way in that they are both beautiful and created naturally. When they are broken, like a flower, the human attempts to mend itself. I use the tape from my mouth to piece together the broken flower and by the time I have rebuilt it, I will no longer be muted and like me, the flower will be rebuilt. I really like the idea of the tape being visible on the flower symbolising that of scars being exposed on a person’s body. It also signifies that once a person is damaged and reformed, they are never completely the same as they once were. By improvising the scene in today’s tech session, I decided that the title of my piece is called ‘Rebuilt’.

   

For me to represent “being silenced,” I wish to tape my mouth shut and project a video of my lips onto the tape. The projection of my lips would be revealing thoughts, feelings and a state of mind and being whilst I am physically muted. This is as though the present and the past are colliding. Before I solidify this idea, I needed first to experiment with projection. With the video that I had already recorded, I then got myself into a studio and linked the video to a projector, using a piece of paper as the substitute for the tape. I found that I needed to be less than 30cm away from the projector for it to even fit the paper in alignment with my face. This was now a concern that I would need to think about for further experimentation. Considering that I don’t want to be sat on stage with a projector in front of my face, it would mean that a great deal of formatting of the video would need to be completed in order to properly align the video to the small surface area, that is the tape over my lips. Unless of course, I get help from the technicians to set up a projector from afar. Another concern was that the tape would be of different consistency to the paper meaning that the result of the projection would be different also. This meant that I needed to get hold of the tape very soon to practice and I also need to discuss my idea with the technicians to see whether or not my idea is possible. I have now scheduled a time to explore the tech and will update my progress on my next blog.

One thing I swore that my piece was not going to be, was autobiographical. However, seeing as though it was connection to my previous ideas that I had been lacking, I thought it to be possibly the best thing for me to explore. I also wanted my solo performance to show who I am as well as my performative abilities. The desire to work with flowers was still present and I kept this in mind whilst beginning to write automatically. A page and a half later, I gave it a read through and before I could edit it, I video recorded my lips speaking it. In this monologue I speak of domestic abuse. This is a subject that I am very much connected to.

The flowers that I wish to utilize in my piece represent the breakdown of a person related to domestic abuse, particularly relationship abuse. I have an image of sitting in a darkened room with a single spotlight above me, a photo frame hung in front of me, a flower in my hands and tape across my mouth. Audio will play whilst the video projection of my lips will speak over the top of my taped mouth. The tape represents the inability to speak whilst the frame does a similar thing in that pictures are immobile and speechless, so it is as though I am the still picture. Nevertheless, I will begin to pick the petals from the flower signifying that my mentality as well as my physicality are both weakening until I am left with only the stem of the flower, only the skeleton of a person. The piece will continue where I will attempt to mend the flower, piecing it back together with the tape from my mouth. This symbolises the rebuild of a person and how hard it is to try and fix something so fragile. I also feel that the aesthetics here will be both ugly and beautiful simultaneously. The way in which the black tape covers the coloured petals shows the scars that cover a person, whether they are seen on the body or lived with internally, they may fade but will never disappear. Considering that all of the tape from my mouth will be wrapped around the flower, the end of the piece will finish by showing the ability to speak again, and like a flower, representing my growth in strength, happiness and beauty.